Hopelessness: The End of Healthy Living

The increasing cases of suicide attempts among youth is nothing new and is something everyone is aware of. I often hear people talking about depression and disturbed psychological or mental health to be responsible for provoking individuals to take such daring steps. And both troublesome human beings and problematic situations are held responsible for such shaken mindsets so as to find death easier and safer way to escape from living. But is it really so?

Who has problems in life?

For this to understand, I would like to begin with a question. Is there any professional or even personal aspect of life which is free from all sort of troubles for any individual? Have you ever come across a person in your life who had no problems at all? But please, do not consider people hypothetically portrayed to be self sufficient. Now what does that mean? We find most celebrities to be very happy and powerful as shown to us by media sources. We presume them to be perfectly content in life. But that is just what we see through the eyes of media. Similarly, we visualize certain known but unknown (people whom we know but have not been in close contact ever or recently) people to be idealistically delightful in life with no menace at all. But it seems so to us only through their social media profiles, trust me. So, precisely I am only talking about people whom you know personally and keep talking to them personally or getting their news from personal channels. They might constitute your close relatives, friends, neighbors or colleagues or any one else who fulfills the required criteria.

Confused! Don't be. Let me give you a way out to find it. 

Step 1: Make a list of 10 of your problems and another of 10 things which are happening perfect or you consider them as gifts of God in your life. 

Step 2: Then make a list of 20 people for whom you are unable to think of any problems. 

Step 3: Now introspect into the life of these 20 people in context to issues pertaining to your 10 difficulties and 10 favors you have listed in Step 1.

Just follow and believe me, you will have your answer.

Here, you might be able to list a few who actually has a surprisingly flawless life. Now, lets take our task a little further to get more into it.

Step 4: Now again analyze life journey of same people but this time do not focus only on their present problems but the struggles they have faced throughout their past to reach this stage where they are free from all burdens of sorrows and complaigns.

Trust me you will have the biggest answer of your life. Everyone has to face problems in the journey of life while walking over to reach the destination of their aspirations. 

So, precisely to the question above, the reply is

Everyone has problems. No one is free from or escape out of difficulties. 

What makes the difference then?

The difference is only in the way one handles and deals with the problems as and when they arise. Few people stand as strong pillars in front of tough circumstances while others shatter as quickly as a loosely held leaf fall out of the tree and get apart. Why is this so? The life skills learnt by the people during the life tenure play an important role here. Perseverance, patience and most importantly faith in the power of almighty. And no need to say that humans with these skills are better able to handle pressures of all sorts.

On the other hand, more ideally and frequently what is practically seen is that same person might comfortably and wisely face issues pertaining to one aspect of life while may fail to safely jump even the simple breakers in some other aspect of life. 

Now, what is the difference here? It's how one perceives different situations. For instance I may consider a small argument with my husband much more disastrous for my mental health than even being jobless. While some individuals perceive problems as a part of life, others may treat them as something more disturbing and devastating. In the same manner, an individual might think of some big problems to be small while some other minor issues to be very major. So, the difference actually exists in the Perception.

What makes them feel worst?

People do not kill themselves for every obstacle which arises in the way towards achieving their dreams. Also, not everyone is frustrated for the  financial troubles or hurdles in the career path. Some start hating life due to lack of love or respect. It is a myth in our minds that people who commit suicide are alone. Not loneliness is the cause of every act of self killing. Mind it, also no one dares to kill their own selves immediately at the onset of the troubles. The sufferer definitely spares time to analyze the situation he is into. He/ She tries hardest with all possible energy and conviction before giving up. Every individual strives to live not die. 

Then what compels one to take unexpected and unimaginable step of taking his life? Its hopelessness. It is true that human nature is attracted to living but living good and happy. When the only essence of life that is hope gets shattered, the life loses its significance. The life becomes too much spoiled, depressed and frustrated. The person starts spending days with negativity.

It is only when an individual finds himself trapped from all sides and finds no way to escape the problem, he finds dying easier and fairer than living.

When living seems to have only tremendous pressure and humiliation that individual finds benefit in running away from life eventually because he thinks this will be a fair end to all the mess he is surrounded with.

What to do then?

 You may find it wierd to read it but it is important to introspect what we can, being humans do to help someone trapped out so badly.

We tend to ignore any symptoms which can help identify such sufferers and the closed net of troubles around them, sometimes being ignorant and other times being carefree. Isn't it so? And is it acceptable? We must realize a fine bond humanity which binds us all to each other. We must put in efforts to identify people with disturbed psychology.

The next thing is to accept the trapped person and understand his problems by putting up your feet in his shoes. Realization of the fact that it is the situations that are problematic, not the person is the need. Even a person who is extremely brilliant, wise and gem may get trapped and it would not be any wonder. So, if you are on the other side of that trap does not make you smarter or wiser in any way, in fact it is just that you are luckier.

So, with people in such situations, the biggest mistake is to try making them understand that their problem is small. Rather it is important to not let the spirit of living die within them.

Give them hopes and try convincing them that solutions exist. And most genuinely, try finding solutions to their problems or experts who are capable of finding those solutions.

Because one thing I am very much sure about is ' There is no problem which comes without its solution. Both problem and solution take birth together, it is just that one is seen prior to the other'.