Love vs Respect

 'Pyar ki nahi bas thodi izzat ki kami hai' 

A famous discourse from a very well known Bollywood movie has been percieved as a touchy one by most as they have usually related it with the typical condition of an Indian housewife but there are few probably like my husband who simply mock at such dialogues as they do not agree with the sympathetic portray of Indian women as reflected by media.

But on the other hand, there are few like me who take the thought beyond and take an initiative to discuss the major embedded psychological parameters in such contexts.

The statement deeply emphasizes on the roles of love and respect in our relationships and rather life at larger. 

I often tend to think love and respect as two different attitudes but then realize the essential coexistence of the two. You might respect people and not love them but you will find this possibility only in case of those who are either not related to you at all or not closely related to you. You do not know them to the limits of knowing them really.

With another set of people who are close enough to you, its other way. You might love them a lot but miss to respect them. These are relations which suffer to breathe at one point ultimately. You might live for years with such people but eventually you fail to sustain their presence as much as it could be in your life. Most humans fail to understand the true sense of respect in relationships and trust me it will be extremely faulty to consider only the love relations here. It applies to all who affect your life or are an important part of life. Be it your parents or your children, your sibling or your partner, your friend or your girlfriend- everyone needs and deserves your respect as equally as your love. 

Now it is necessary to reflect upon the true nature of respect. When you respect someone, you not necessarily bow down to them but also do not expect them to bow down to you. You might not agree on everything with them but you mutually agree to disagree with each other in a polite and kind manner. You accept the differences in choices and opinions you might have with them. You are not expected to touch their feet obviously but you are expected to not do anything which hurts them physically or emotionally which again would require to accept their values on how they feels, what they think and why they feel or think so. What might not disturb you may disturb them because they are different- different body, different soul and most importantly different individual altogether.

Accepting their individual identity to be as important as yours is respect.

Your partner may want to do or spend time on something which you do not like, or he/ she may want to wear or purchase something which you do not appreciate but that is fine. It must not imply that your choices are better. How much you want to do what is your choice but restricting the others to live their way is not worth.

Compromising to a limit becomes necessary to maintain relationships but it should not be to the limit which results into spoiling either your or other's individual identity.

Respect others get respect from them should be real funda in relations.

Similarly, it is important to respect your parents and understand that they are not only your parents but a man and woman with their own set of skills, values, opinions and choices. May they demand some of theirs or even yours time to fulfill their wishes which is absolutely fair. Bestowed upon them is responsibility to upbringing their children in best possible way but this anyhow does not give children right to say them anything wrong or misuse their love and freedom.

Your children might want to choose a different career as you want them to, a different lifestyle than you expect them too. Guidance is the integral element of parenting and cannot be in fact should not be avoided but children should not be enforced to do everything parents want in the name of either discipline or culture.

A little change should be humbly allowed if you really respect them. 

I will only like to conclude with a point that even if you do not want to change yourself for anyone, do not expect them to change for you and leave it to their choice that how much they wish to compromise.

DO COMPROMISE BUT BE WISE IN SETTING UP THE LIMITS FOR BOTH YOURSELF AND THE OTHER PERSON